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The problem with wait and see is it is often too late to do anything after the bad guy shoots you unexpectedly.
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And the other side of the coin is that if you resist violently you often get shot when the BG had no intention of harming anyone. Again, that is the most likely outcome of these scenarios. But yes, there should be certain behaviors that you can key on, or certain actions that draw a line in the sand, that warrant the all-out defense.