You may be interested in this review of practical autoloaders:
http://www.winchesterguns.com/prodin...tail.asp?ID=72
On the other hand, you asked about recoil - Chuck Hawks has some online recoil tables for shotguns and rifles:
http://www.chuckhawks.com/shotgun_recoil_table.htm
http://www.chuckhawks.com/recoil_table.htm
The 12-gauge is about 52ft-lb
The 20-gauge is about 30 ft-lb
These figures are on par with heavy rifles used for dangerous big game.
The .223 rifle (our current military std) is about 3 ft-lb.
Personally, I think the shotgun is highly overrated for home defense. It roars, has huge recoil, and at home defense distances of 15 feet or less, the pattern doesn't even spread out appreciably.
I'd respectfully suggest at least looking at something like a Mini-14 (.223) or a Ruger Deerfield Carbine (44Magnum). They have plenty of destructive power on target, and are much easier to handle effectively. There are also lever action carbines in many calibers (.357Magnum/.44Magnum/etc), and a number of 9mm/40S&W/.45ACP semiauto carbines.