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I have zero confidence that my wife could defend herself with her Hi-Power. It is all she can do to rack the slide, she never practices with it, and when she does, she gets stovepipe jams from limp wristing sometimes.
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I keep an SP-101 with laser grip, and I feel I have the best chance with that. I'm a heavy sleeper, and it is likely that I will be groggy and may not have proper technique for an auto. Groggy and having to remember about safeties, arm straight, wrist locked, etc. is just not realistic for me.
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While I don't entirely disagree with your logic, you do need to make sure that your wife can repeatedly pull the DA trigger of your SP101 without difficulty. I have found that people with limited enough hand strength to have difficutly racking a slide oftentimes also have difficulty pulling through a DA trigger. Small-frame guns like the Ruger SP101 and S&W J-Frames seem to cause the most problems because their smaller, lighter hammers require heavier mainsprings in order to reliably ignite primers. It seems as though medium frame revolvers, S&W K-Frames in particular, seem to work well for most people because they have better triggers than small-frame guns but are not so large as to not fit the hands of smaller statured people.