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Had the same problem when I was a kid and upped to a 12 gauge. Did it when my dad started putting .357 mags instead of .38s in the security 6. Did the same thing when I shot a .44 mag for the first time as well. It helps that I started on a .357 mag revolver for pistols, and my first semi-auto was a .45acp. My father cured me of this and I did the same thing with a friend of mine who is now a US Marine.
Allow a friend to load the weapon without you seeing if they chamber a round or not. Have them set the weapon down(pointed in a safe direction). Pick the weapon up and squeeze the trigger. You will catch yourself flinching, but you will break the habbit.
We developed another version also after I was getting used to shooting the 9mm. I noticed I was flinching when I was shooting the .357 again. Not a good habbit because that is my hunting pistol. So dad broke out the the .38s and the .357 mags. Loaded up the revolver with both .38s and .357s. 1 .38 or 5 he wouldn't tell me. This also helped break me. End of the day it is all just recoil and you can handle it.
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