[Capt. Charlie]

You're on the right track, and I applaud you for thinking this through in advance.

First, I note that your wife seems to have fired just enough to familiarize herself with the weapons. I'm assuming that you're roughly in the same category. You've elected to tackle a deadly serious subject, with deadly consequences if you make a mistake. Familiarization isn't enough. Both you and your wife need serious training. I see that you live in a large urban area, and there should be several schools close to you. Seek training as soon as you can, for both you and your wife.

Bringing guns into your home presents challenges of a different sort where your kids are concerned. Kids are curious, and guns hold a certain mystique that will draw them like a magnet. Locking the guns away isn't enough. Make shooting a family affair, and train the kids as well.

As to a hostage situation, that is every cop's nightmare, and I can't even imagine it involving the average Joe with a family member held hostage. There is no clear cut answer there, as these situations tend to be fluid and specific, with split second decisions being necessary by cool and well trained heads. No two situations are exactly the same. If you do a search here, you'll find a number of threads dealing with hostage situations, and almost all of them are steeped in debate, even among professional operators.

Again, the answer here is serious, hands on training, and I can't stress that enough.