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My first thought is to stay barred up in my room and wait for someone to come through my door and shoot.
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That's the best thing to do. Nothing in your house is worth your life. Attempting to locate an intruder, even heavily armed in your own home, is a lose-lose proposition. Think about it:
1. You will make noise searching for him while he can stay quiet and hidden.
2. You must show a light to see him, thereby revealing yourself.
3. He's in hiding while you're exposed.
4. He knows where you are, you don't know where he is. He can wait for you to come to him.
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I don't want the alarm company calling and having the cops come out for nothing.
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Why not? That's what you're paying them to do. Even if you're charged for a false alarm, the cost is cheaper than your life.
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So whats the proper procedure?
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Grab the family and bunker down in a defensible position with your weapons and phone. Let the alarm people call. "My alarm is going off and there may be someone in the house, send the police." Then call the police yourself (helps to have a land line and a cell phone, too). Identify/describe yourself and your family, inform the dispatcher you are armed, and give him/her your location in the house. Stay on the phone with the dispatcher. When the police get there - STAY PUT. Let them enter/check the entrance points (doors/windows) and instruct you as to what to do.
There will be many who think you are a coward for not defending your property. I will think you're a smart man who knows what's worth dying for and what isn't.