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Zombieslayer, that's really sad.
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No kidding. :/ I know some pacifists, mostly religious pacifists, who take a principled stance of never fighting back when attacked. Many of these have thought through the implications of their stand and know what they are doing, so I respect them and don't worry (too much) about them.
I *do* worry about a whole lot of (mostly) women who refuse to think about or provide for their own self defense because of an emotional revulsion against the idea of committing violence. That sort of "pacifism" is the result, not of long thought and consideration, but conditioning, often conditioning from childhood. Human beings should *not* let their conditioning make decisions for them. We are free willed beings, although I often think that might as well not be the case for all the use some people get out of their free will. :/
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Have you asked her if she would shoot someone to defend a child? I think some women can envision that far more easily than they can shooting in self defense.
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A lot would, and this is a useful tool to get many women to think about this issue rather than stay in conditioned-reflex denial of the whole thing. I know that this vexing question is one reason why I never could fully commit to pacifism even in my hugely idealistic teens and early 20s. I also thought about the world that I would be helping to create by refusing to defend myself. Perhaps those of us who trust God would be better off with Him than on earth, but those we left behind would in most cases be significantly worse off because the decent human being would be dead and the predator would be both alive and have his predatory ways reinforced by success. Objectively, that is *not* a good thing for individuals or society.