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Still can't do it reliably but the fact that I can operate it at all now gives me some hope. I have a nice blister welling up on my thumb from trying to work the slide release. Then I realized I can put my left thumb on top of my right one and push with the left one instead and that works much better.
Back to building up the strength.
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Perhaps this is more gun than you can handle. Education, practice and repetition will help but it sounds like you are really struggling. I think you should look at other guns. CornerCat my help point you in the right direction.
If I were you I would take my time and look at lots of guns and get some training.
I'm glad you've made the decision to arm yourself...good luck.