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In NJ, to purchase any gun or ammo, you need to first apply for, and obtain a FOID card, usually through the local police. (State police if there is no local PD in your township.) To purchase a handgun, you need to apply for, and obtain, a separate handgun permit via the same way. You can apply for both the above at the same time and they are processed together. You need a separate handgun permit for each handgun and each is good for 90 days (and can be extended for an additional 90 days (I believe)). You may only purchase one handgun per 30 days.
From your posts, it sounds like you're allowed to own a handgun in DC, have it in your home, but not allowed to practice with it?
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Yes. From my non expert reading, the NJ FOID does not require or contain a serial number or require first owning a weapon to obtain. Again my non expert read indicated spouse #1 can get a NJ FOID, and then get a handgun permit. Spouse #2 can get then get a FOID only and it seems be able to legally buy and handle ammunition, and legally transport the weapon unloaded to a training class, hunting or range(ie a legal but not "formal" activity), and also routinely handled the weapon in the home.
In DC this process as well as the process of multiple individuals (spouses, adult children) getting permits on the same handgun is impossible, even for qualified individuals.
On the last question here is how it works in DC:
I am allowed to handle my weapon in all ways, clean, dry fire, practice access from quick access, unload.
I am allowed to transport my weapon as long as my permit is with it at all times, unloaded, locked in trunk to legal activities, including range practice, lessons, hunting etc. All of those would be outside of DC where we have no ranges and where discharge is essentially illegal everywhere anyway.
My wife and seemingly any person is seems allowed in an imminent life or death situation to use the weapon, but under no other circumstances touch it or the ammo. She must get her own weapon, and even in that case we cant touch each other's legally.
If I drive my wife to a range in Va, as soon as we pass the border into Va we are in VA juristiciton and as long as it is unloaded she no longer needs me to be with her, and can handle and and fire the gun at the range.
If I lose a single round of ammo in the trunk, and it is found in DC with my wife in the car alone, and she has no permit she is committing a gun crime and one that is in fact prosecuted