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Any steel framed 357mag is a perfect gun or a 9mm from Walthers or Glock.
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Why limit the choice of a semi-auto to just those two makes? Ruger, Smith & Wesson, Springfield Arms, Beretta, CZ, Sig, and many more make excellent 9MM semi-auto pistols for self defense.
If the OP is serious about a handgun, he needs to rent several from a local range to try. But that of course would involve "target" shooting which he indicated he wasn't going to do.