[rem44m]

To the OP, I have owned and carried all three compact XDM's (9, 40, 45) that you are considering.

First off the 45 compact is wider than the 9 and 40 version. For me it was just to big to carry however everyone is different and YMMV.

All three are extremely accurate, most accurate carry guns I've owned.

If your looking to throw aftermarket sights on them I would say stay away from tru glo, I have had problems with POA after having my gunsmith install them. You have to aim 3 inches low and 21 feet. Drove me nuts.

I really liked the 9, it was just as accurate as the other two but had the lower recoil advantage. The 45 seemed to recoil the most in my opinion, which surprised me, I thought with the 40 being loaded to much higher pressures, that it would recoil the most.

The 40 and 45 both fed even when purposefully induced limp wristing. The 9 fed quite well but if I got a light enough grip I could get it to stovepipe. I realize this may not even matter to you but just figured I'd let you in on my experience.

If your like me, and love Glock triggers then the XDM's reset will likely be a disappointment. I had my gunsmith install a powder river precision trigger kit, which was a huge improvement and in my opinion worth it.

XD's and XDM's are high quality polymer pistols, you really can't go wrong in any caliber.