The Firing Line Forums - View Single Post

InigoMontoya · August 8, 2012, 09:48 PM

I've been shooting all my life. I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't a shooter. I know that by age 5 I was well versed on the operation of a lever action .22 LR. I couldn't even shoulder it properly, but I could shoot it. I purchased my first gun (well, Dad did it with money I'd saved up) at age 13 (bolt action .308 for those who care). I own on the order of two dozen firearms.

So when I say that guns have always been a part of my life, I mean it.

Yesterday, my father committed suicide.

I've not gone out to open the gun safe, but I know what I'll find. All the rifles and handguns? Hey, they're the same guns they always were. But I'm not sure I'll ever look at a shotgun the same way again. I fear that every time I pick one up, the first thing that will pop into my mind is the image of the pool of blood. Of the smell. Of generally not nice things.

I don't want something that's given me a lifetime of good memories to suddenly doom me to a lifetime of picking at that particular mental wound.

Has anyone here ever gone through this? Obviously, the answer to that question is "Yes." OK, is anyone willing to talk about it? How did things play out?

August 8, 2012, 09:48 PM	#1
InigoMontoya Senior Member Join Date: January 14, 2007 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 229	Overcoming mental aversion I've been shooting all my life. I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't a shooter. I know that by age 5 I was well versed on the operation of a lever action .22 LR. I couldn't even shoulder it properly, but I could shoot it. I purchased my first gun (well, Dad did it with money I'd saved up) at age 13 (bolt action .308 for those who care). I own on the order of two dozen firearms. So when I say that guns have always been a part of my life, I mean it. Yesterday, my father committed suicide. I've not gone out to open the gun safe, but I know what I'll find. All the rifles and handguns? Hey, they're the same guns they always were. But I'm not sure I'll ever look at a shotgun the same way again. I fear that every time I pick one up, the first thing that will pop into my mind is the image of the pool of blood. Of the smell. Of generally not nice things. I don't want something that's given me a lifetime of good memories to suddenly doom me to a lifetime of picking at that particular mental wound. Has anyone here ever gone through this? Obviously, the answer to that question is "Yes." OK, is anyone willing to talk about it? How did things play out?