Defensive happy sunshine rainbow unicorn machine... or is that too long?
Seriously though, I don't think coming up with creative terminology to try and frame weapons/firearms/guns/<insert subtype here> in a better light is a good idea. IMHO it's no different than slapping the label "assault weapon" on something to make it sound more dangerous. It's dishonest and just brings confusion to an arena that could use more clarity and truth, and less spin.