Get this, or one like it.
Get
this, too (or equivalent), but modify it by adding some Velcro on the cuffs so you can tighten their fit. Nothing worse that getting molten lead on your skin except getting it down inside a cuff so that it can't fall free free from your skin as the steam is generated.
Get this, too, or its equivalent, and wear glasses under it.
The Lee hardness tester is inexpensive. I don't find my readings terribly accurate (mine tend to be about 3-5 BHN high), so I treat them as relative.
The RCBS is a 20 lb pot. I have one I got almost 30 years ago. Works great.
Quenching by dropping from the mold is a common practice. Some find it harder to make it consistent than others. Just float a sponge on a bucket of water and drop the bullets onto the sponge. It turns and lets them fall into the water rather than splashing it, which could get onto your mold, into the melt, etc. Give them a couple of weeks to reach peak hardness.
If you want really hard heat treated bullets, then its easier to use an oven to control the temperature and get it just right.
Start with your .45 bullets. The mold will reach temperature faster and maintain it more easily because of all the heat the large bullets hold. It lets you work more slowly while you get used to the process. The .22's will be the hardest to work with.