Sig 239 ..../ the base pad on the mag - giving you a place for the small finger on your hand makes a difference....and if you want to go a little bigger than the stock grips ...Hogue makes a rubber grip with finger grooves - that bulks the grip up a little.
I have 239's in 9mm and .40S&W ...and with big hands find them both very manageable.
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Compact is a relative term.....but a gun like a Kimber Tactical Pro model, 4", in an alloy frame...in 9mm is also a good alternative ( light, easy to shoot, thin...)....there are other 4" 1911's out there too ....like this one...
http://wilsoncombat.com/new/handgun-...p#.UZEhk4zn_X4
available in 9mm, .38 super and .45 acp....