[Daugherty16]

I've lived and worked in LA, SF, Portland, and now NYC. Panhandlers? Seen way too many to count. Years ago i used to try and quickly assess whether they were pros or actually needed the help they claimed, and yes, i've given folks spare change, dollars, even 10s. But a year in SFO (homeless capital of the world, apparently) cured me of that, sadly.

The newest one I've seen is a woman on the commuter train out of NYC, big sob story about children and food and she only needs train fare (about 22 bucks) and so on. She goes from car to car collecting what she can. Then she ends up in the lead car and jumps off at 125th in Harlem before the conductors can check tickets, heads back to Grand Central and does it again, after checking the schedule to make sure she only boards a train that stops in Harlem. I see her regularly and just chuckle.

So now i do all my charitable giving through the CFC and Goodwill (and of course, Salvation Army Kris Kringles!) and the like. Giving money and goods where I KNOW it will be put to good use. Unfortunately, the more i learn about situational awareness puts me even farther from wanting to help the occasional true needy person down on his luck who approaches me. I just don't try to figure the situation any more. My standard answer is a curt "I can't help you" while checking my periphery, and 99% of the time i am confident that is a true statement.

I really applaud the approach Peetza (and others) have described. I may have to try that sometime, because i don't like the idea of spurning someone who might really, really need something (like $ 10 bucks for medicine) i'll never miss. Experience makes me certain that most all of them will split the instant you call their bluff, and the few who remain might well be in need just as they said.

But as for being boxed in the parking lot, all my alarms would have gone off and i would not have been polite, and probably would have my hand on or near my piece rather quickly, while looking around for the guy sneaking up behind me. I suspect that the OP did, in fact, make the right call. But if i can assure myself there is noone approaching from the rear, maybe next time i'll offer to buy the food, or pay the difference on the medicine, or on the train ticket - and see what happens.