I hear what you are saying. My take is that nobody can agree on stuff like caliber selection so you will always have disagreements, just the way it is. Couple that with the inherent need to argue on the internet...
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so a cartridge that can kill any deer in north america(about 250 pounds roughly) with any hunting bullet, even when loaded with the best ammo available is incapable of killing a 350 pound cow elk? where does this come from?
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I have to admit though, having hunted both animals with the 243, I am in the camp that says the 243 is perfectly adequate for deer but is very marginal for elk. Having hunted elk for 20 years, I say that 100+ pounds and thicker bone/hide makes a lot of difference where the 243 is concerned. I've killed an elk with my 243. Shooting elk with the 243 is not for everyone, including myself. "Incapable" is extreme, but arguments against it are valid.
My point is not to argue with your example, but to point out that it's a unique situation that is apt to get more arguments than a more straight forward question. In these situations where there is a lot of gray area, I think you can expect more arguments. Especially on the 'net.