I agree that the even lighter gun in .38+P won't be any better in terms of controllability. A 3-4" barreled revolver weighing 32-40 oz and shooting .38+P will be a lot more manageable.
Try something like a S&W Model 10, 64, 619, 620, or 686... for example, there is a 3" model 686P that comes with a compact round butt rubber grip and weighs 36.8oz, and will hold 7 shots to boot; the 3" model 64 also comes with such a grip and weighs 33oz. These may seem big compared to the 17oz-er, but they're lighter than the 1911s so many like to carry.
Here's the 3" 686P - it's not something to slip into a pocket, but is not big for a belt gun: