First, I'd go & rent or borrow a few different styles & or brands you can try.
In general, Id start with a simple, stainless steel 5/6/7 round .38spl +P or .357magnum like a S&W 442/642, a 638, a Bodyguard .38spl(with a red laser aimer), a 686+ with a 3" barrel, a Ruger GP100 4" barrel, a Ruger LCR .357magnum or the top rated SP101 with a DA only format(my first handgun in 1993).
DA only weapons are far better because you avoid false claims of reckless use or cocking the hammer back in a lethal force event. The spurs can also snag or jab you in the side. I have packed DA only revolvers & semi auto pistols with 0 problems since the early 1990s.
A top gunsmith can convert a DA/SA revolver to DA only too. See
www.geminicustoms.com or Clark Custom Guns. They do S&W & Ruger wheelguns.
With some revolver brands you can add a CT laser aimer;
www.crimsontrace.com . A bright red or green laser can aid you in a home defense event. CrimsonTrace offers a free 2013 product DVD too.
I'd add that you should learn & understand the gun and use of force laws too. See
www.nra.org www.handgunlaw.us www.gunlawguide.com .
Clean & service your firearm. Dirt, grit, dust, etc can cause a lot of problems even with DA revolvers. A good CLP & maybe some Hoppes #9 or Butch's Bore Solvent can help. Top brands include; LPX, Gunzilla, Ballistol, Slip2000, Weaponshield. Don't use too much CLP or gun oil. Excessive amounts of grease or oil is a common problem most armorers & gunsmiths see.
As for ammunition; use only
factory rounds, no reloads or hand loads.
For .38spl +P, Id look at these brands; Speer Gold Dot +P 135gr, DPX, Ranger T/T Series, MagSafe SWAT, Buffalo Bore 158gr lead SWC-HP +P, Glaser Silver Safety Slug.
ClydeFrog
www.sgammo.com www.natchezss.com www.midwayusa.com www.gunzilla.us www.shopcorbon.com www.mpro7.com www.weaponshield.com