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Going any higher than 9mm, the recoil is going to be even more of an issue unless you are willing to carry a heavier gun. A heavier gun will generally give you less felt recoil when you compare it to a lighter gun in the same caliber.
It sounds like you need a full size 9mm. Look at the Springfield XD Service 9mm. It is a full half pound heavier than the Glock 19. Its a couple hundred dollars more than the P95, but you will get a better gun with the XD.
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