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I suspect that all that carry have mentally already drawn lines in the sand so to speak for different scenarios.
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Yep, and that worries me. We can't predict how things will unfold in real life. It's usually far messier and quicker than any of the academic scenarios we discuss.
This was a sudden, unpredictable situation, and I don't see how I alone could have solved it if I was there. I've seen fatal gunshot wounds. I'm really in no hurry to do that to anybody, even if I'm "right" or "justified." It may stink, but there are times when appeasement is better than escalation.