Try taking her to a range that rents and let her try a bunch of different ones. We can all help you pick guns that we like and agree on, but it does no good if she doesn't like it. Best to let her pick, and be ready for the chance that what she likes is a gun you don't like, or think is appropriate.
There aren't many .38 automatics around that are defense guns. Do you mean .380, or maybe .38super?
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