Get a sports whistle and a key baton or Maglite*. Maybe a mini bottle of hair spray, or peppermint mouth spray for the eyes. The whistle alone will scare the heck out of them, then a baton to the chest or head, then spray them in the face. After that kick him nut's with your steel toes. Do you have a belt with a large heavy belt buckle? Take that off and swing it like nunchuck's.
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