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Old May 4, 2011, 04:24 PM   #41
Sleuth
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Join Date: September 27, 2002
Location: Arizona
Posts: 445
Part of the very basis of PTSD (it can be any kind of trauma), is the conflict within.
On the one hand, you feel exultant and happy at having survived.

On the other, you feel bad because you have violated societies strongest norm by taking a life.

Consider if the life you have to take is that of a young female, later found to have a toy or unloaded gun - the worst possible case, that of having shot a child.

The trigger is usually comments by your friends - for cops, it is "jokes" in the station. On officer had to leave the job and suffered for years because, after a justified shooting of an (adult) female whom he shot in the head, someone on his squad said "There goes "Joe", the women lose their heads over him!"

In the military, usually the more of "them" you kill, the more 'pats on the back' for having done your part in the mission.
In the civilian world, you can expect criticism, questioning, and the civil lawsuit alleging you are a bad person (usually in the newspaper too). Been there, done that.

These "jokes" by your friends are the hardest things to overcome.
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