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In IPSC my scores are good, my times are bad
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So what. I have the same problem because I'm old and slow. But I'm a firm believer in accuracy first.
In Self Defense you need to account for every round out of the gun. Misses go somewhere. I'd rather be accurate my self.
But still stick with IPSC or what other action pistol shooting you can find.
THEN:
Read every thing you can on Crime Reports in the paper/internet. See what is happening in the real world.
An example, I just read about an 83 year old lady who was car jack, kidnapped and killed. Practice shooting from the seat of your car ( or simulated via a chair if you don't have a place to shoot from a car) Do it as if you had seat belts on.
That's just an example, read the news papers and internet on robberies, rapes, etc etc to get an idea of what the bandits are doing and come up with defensive measures to protect your self and your young family.
Which by the way, congrats on your new addition.