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Until you get to really heavy stuff, it's mostly psychological. "Sucker punched" = you weren't expecting it. As noted, focus on your form, stock firm against the shoulder, good cheek weld, smooth trigger release. Keep shootin' and you'll do fine. By the way, size has little to do with it. Also, take a few shots off hand or sitting. Shooting from a bench is about the worst as far as felt recoil.
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A lot of good comments here. As a shooting instructor I always have a new shooter shoot the gun without aiming it. I have them put muffs on and take them up to the berm. I have them just point the gun (handgun or rifle) at the berm and shoot several rounds and tell them to just observe what the gun is doing when they pull the trigger. After doing this several times they are way less intimidated than if they had started at the bench and didn't know what to expect. Flinching is a subconcious reflex that is programed into the subconcious when you start shooting. It takes a good bit of reafirmation to keep it under control. I suggest to all new shooters to do this exercise every time they go shooting until the recoil is no longer a factor in shooting. It works equally well with a shotgun for teaching shooters in the clay bird sports.