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A difficult scenario, and some interesting comments. However, there is no "one size fits all" answer as to when a person can exhibit a gun to another, let alone escalate it. State (and local) laws differ from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and what might be legal in my state might not be in yours, or vice versa.
For instance, in my state, a person can be charged with a felony for which he or she could receive up to 4 years prison time if he or she "[e]xhibits, in the presence of one or more persons, any weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry or threatening manner". Of course you might have some legal defenses that might apply.
Let the other person (or a bystander) call the law and report that "some kook with a gun drew down on me for no reason as I was just trying to ask for directions . . .", and you may find it hard to explain to the officers and prosecutor what happened. Sometimes, the one who calls the law first is often the one whose version of the story they believe as true.
And if you live in a jurisdiction where the prosecutor is not gun friendly or self defense friendly, then there are a lot of interpretation issues that can go against you too. Even our state law as relayed above is subject to interpretation (such as what constitutes "angry and threatening manner") among you and me, as well as authority figures such as police officers and prosecutors, and ultimately, juries. You might win at trial, but that puts you at risk of conviction and causing you to spend huge amounts of money to defend yourself in court.
Please do not misunderstand my comments, as I believe 100% in self defense, and my late father was a big supporter of the addage about "better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6". Just commenting that when, and in what circumstances, force or even the threatened use of force can be used are complicated issues, even in the same state, let alone among the 50 states and the thousands of local jurisdcitions, and thousands of opinions by various officers and prosecutors.
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