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ClayInTx · November 25, 2009, 10:01 AM

One should very well beware of the dangers posed by Black Friday. Employ situational awareness and look out for:

1. The soccer mom looking for sneakers will run you over.
2. The grandma looking for the 17th gift for her only grandchild will stab you with her umbrella.
3. Don’t get caught in the middle of a dog-fight, I mean pre-teen fight, over the last X-box game in Wal-Mart. You’ll end up in the hospital.
4. The two old codgers on the electric scooters racing each other to the men’s room.

The list could go on an on but I’m sure you’re beginning to understand. If your Significant Other insists on going then here’s the plan:
Tell the her to meet you back at the vehicle. Look for the bum trying for a hand-out. Give him $10 and send him inside for a case of cheap beer. Watch for when he comes out and throw down on him because he’ll try to get away and drink it all by himself.

When the wife returns, help her into the vehicle with her sprained ankle, black eye, and bruised lip. Tell the bum he can have the last two cans of beer and tell the wife she’ll have to drive. Go home and sleep it off and then enjoy having participated in a successful Black Friday.

Don’t worry about the BG’s, they’re more scared of the soccer moms than they are of the police.

November 25, 2009, 10:01 AM	#13
ClayInTx Senior Member Join Date: November 17, 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,066	The dangers of Black Friday-- awful, awful, awful One should very well beware of the dangers posed by Black Friday. Employ situational awareness and look out for: 1. The soccer mom looking for sneakers will run you over. 2. The grandma looking for the 17th gift for her only grandchild will stab you with her umbrella. 3. Don’t get caught in the middle of a dog-fight, I mean pre-teen fight, over the last X-box game in Wal-Mart. You’ll end up in the hospital. 4. The two old codgers on the electric scooters racing each other to the men’s room. The list could go on an on but I’m sure you’re beginning to understand. If your Significant Other insists on going then here’s the plan: Tell the her to meet you back at the vehicle. Look for the bum trying for a hand-out. Give him $10 and send him inside for a case of cheap beer. Watch for when he comes out and throw down on him because he’ll try to get away and drink it all by himself. When the wife returns, help her into the vehicle with her sprained ankle, black eye, and bruised lip. Tell the bum he can have the last two cans of beer and tell the wife she’ll have to drive. Go home and sleep it off and then enjoy having participated in a successful Black Friday. Don’t worry about the BG’s, they’re more scared of the soccer moms than they are of the police.