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Most defensive situations (I understand) are within 20' or so. If you can put a few shots in that same 6" circle in a couple seconds regardless of caliber, you're set.
Magnums kick a LOT as you found out. Most of the other calibers won't buck like that, 9mm/40/45 so try out a few more. There's nothing wrong at all with some +P 38's since they are much milder.
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