Definitely have her go out to the shooting range and try out a few different guns. Many combination gun shop-ranges have different guns they will let you "rent" to go shoot at their range for a few minutes. If you can't do that, they're at least let her hold the gun and get into a shooting stance with it. That won't tell her about the recoil but it will help her at least get an idea of comfort level with the particular gun.
I'd recommend a look at one of the small Rugers. The compact Kel-Tecs I've shot have really tough trigger pulls that might not be ideal for a woman.
Or if you want to spend about a thousand bucks, get her a Colt Mustang or Government Pocketlite.
