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Best thing to do is try some stains on a piece of the oak that you cut off in the process of making the grips. That way, you know the wood will have the same alkalinity, moisture, etc.
Linseed Oil (have to use boiled linseed oil - regular linseed oil basically never dries) is a finish that will wear off pretty quickly on something you handle all the time. But it doesn't have the 'plastic-y' look of polyurethane.
Poly will hold up much better, or you can look for products that are specifically designed for gun stocks, etc.
(BTW: boiled linseed oil is bought that way. You don't want to try boiling linseed oil on your own.)
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