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Hansam · August 9, 2012, 09:05 PM

I feel for you and your loss.

I've been there (not with a parent or sibling) and actually have been close to there a few times.

A close friend of mine asked me to go with him to help him pick out a shotgun for bird hunting. He picked out a Browning Citori and loved it. Two years later his wife cheated on him, left him for the other guy and took him to the cleaners claiming he abused her and threatened her if she left him. I knew him and during that time he was staying with me at my place. He was a mental wreck the whole time - she was the center of his world and suddenly his world was crashing down around him. After the court proceedings were done he was allowed, with police escort, to return to his house that he'd lost to her to retrieve his belongings that he'd been allowed to keep. One of them was the shotgun. He committed suicide with it in his new apartment in Detroit two months later. Personally I think the Browning Citori is a fine shotgun but for a while there I couldn't even look at one without feeling guilty.

My cousin (first cousin on my mother's side) unfortunately got involved in gangs in Minneapolis and was killed in a gang shooting. He had a Glock 17 tucked in his waistband when he died. Apparently he didn't even have a chance to draw... For some reason I associated the Glock 17 with his death and for almost a year I felt animosity toward that model Glock for that reason.

A while back I'd given my then best friend a ChiCom 9mm pistol as a birthday gift. I never knew he had something wrong in his head - extreme depression - and neither did anyone else in his family apparently. He started seeing a psychologist several years after I gave him the pistol and nobody knew about it except me and his girlfriend. He was diagnosed with clinical depression then but it never occurred to me that I should probably ask for the pistol back since by then he already had more guns albeit they were all long guns. One day for no apparent reason at all he sat down in his recliner in front of the TV and while his girlfriend was in the kitchen he put the 9mm to his temple and killed himself. I felt at fault for years.

After all of this I finally figured out something - it wasn't my fault and it certainly wasn't the fault of the guns involved. I've since gotten over my issues with said model guns involved and with my feelings of guilt and sorrow. Just remember that no matter how bad it is it can't be blamed on you, your actions or the guns. I was told by a very wise man that in every one of these scenarios the person who died would have died whether I or the said guns were involved or not. They'd just have found other ways to die. As for my cousin he would have died regardless because of his life choices.

Just give it time and, as you mentioned, maybe you just need to get out there and pound some birds - sort of shot therapy.

August 9, 2012, 09:05 PM	#16
Hansam Senior Member Join Date: February 21, 2012 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 763	I feel for you and your loss. I've been there (not with a parent or sibling) and actually have been close to there a few times. A close friend of mine asked me to go with him to help him pick out a shotgun for bird hunting. He picked out a Browning Citori and loved it. Two years later his wife cheated on him, left him for the other guy and took him to the cleaners claiming he abused her and threatened her if she left him. I knew him and during that time he was staying with me at my place. He was a mental wreck the whole time - she was the center of his world and suddenly his world was crashing down around him. After the court proceedings were done he was allowed, with police escort, to return to his house that he'd lost to her to retrieve his belongings that he'd been allowed to keep. One of them was the shotgun. He committed suicide with it in his new apartment in Detroit two months later. Personally I think the Browning Citori is a fine shotgun but for a while there I couldn't even look at one without feeling guilty. My cousin (first cousin on my mother's side) unfortunately got involved in gangs in Minneapolis and was killed in a gang shooting. He had a Glock 17 tucked in his waistband when he died. Apparently he didn't even have a chance to draw... For some reason I associated the Glock 17 with his death and for almost a year I felt animosity toward that model Glock for that reason. A while back I'd given my then best friend a ChiCom 9mm pistol as a birthday gift. I never knew he had something wrong in his head - extreme depression - and neither did anyone else in his family apparently. He started seeing a psychologist several years after I gave him the pistol and nobody knew about it except me and his girlfriend. He was diagnosed with clinical depression then but it never occurred to me that I should probably ask for the pistol back since by then he already had more guns albeit they were all long guns. One day for no apparent reason at all he sat down in his recliner in front of the TV and while his girlfriend was in the kitchen he put the 9mm to his temple and killed himself. I felt at fault for years. After all of this I finally figured out something - it wasn't my fault and it certainly wasn't the fault of the guns involved. I've since gotten over my issues with said model guns involved and with my feelings of guilt and sorrow. Just remember that no matter how bad it is it can't be blamed on you, your actions or the guns. I was told by a very wise man that in every one of these scenarios the person who died would have died whether I or the said guns were involved or not. They'd just have found other ways to die. As for my cousin he would have died regardless because of his life choices. Just give it time and, as you mentioned, maybe you just need to get out there and pound some birds - sort of shot therapy. __________________ This is who we are, what we do.