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The .40 has proven to have the advantage of being more effective than the 9mm and it has better ammo capacity than the .45.
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First, if you like the 40 and carry it I have no issues or problem. I loved my 41 magnum over the 44. I could shoot it better. My brother carried a 357 and he shot it very well. He was better off with the 357 than my 41, I was better off than I was with the 44. Neither of us is recoil sensitive. I used to shoot 7mm Remington Magnum. Now that's a brute (worse than 338 and 375 HH magnums)
However, there is the consistent argument that a 40 is better than a 9mm for self defense. Sig 357 owners tend to claim the same thing as do 45 owners.
You can take water just, gelliten, wall board and shoot it with 357, 40, 45 and it looks impressive and it means nothing. All the calibers above 9mm look pretty doing that.
What counts is real world shooting statistics, not jugs of water or pounds of energy or the angle of the sun and the moon. You cannot extrapolate from water jugs to the real world (well you can but you are fooling yourself which is fine, but you also are giving others bad advice)
If you follow the results of what happens when people are shot in the real world, there is ZERO statistical difference between the calibers. Nada, none, zip. To say there is is simply foolish. There are people out there that still believe the earth is flat.
Jugs of water and gelatin are not real world.
There is nothing wrong with liking the 40, there is a serious problem when you contend its better than the 9mm in the real world.
The reason 9mm has gotten as lethal as the other calibers is the modern technology. It needed a lot of help. Its improved enormously. The others improved only a small amount. That means they are all on equal basis now.