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Ruger P95.
Recoil is low--about as low as you can get with a polymer 9mm.
Slide is easy to pull back--about 10.5lbs of force required to get it fully rearward (compared to about 16lbs for a Glock 17).
Trigger reach in double action isn't great, but in single action, it's about as short as you'll find in a double-column mag pistol.
Grip size is about as small as possible for a double-column mag pistol.
It's inexpensive, even if purchased new, very durable and easy to maintain.
Reliability has been excellent with the ones I've shot--as long as it's kept lubed.
The main negatives are a poor DA trigger (decent in SA) and accuracy that is acceptable but not impressive.
I would avoid .380 pistols because they are typically either small and hard to shoot well, and/or direct blowback which seems to amplify recoil and makes the slide hard to retract. I would avoid any direct blowback pistols such as the Makarovs for the same reasons.
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