[RBid]

I've been working behind the counter. I'll be leaving the business at the end of my shift on 6/1. These are some things that I have learned from customers:

1. My understanding of distance conversion was all wrong. I now understand the "Rule of Divide by Three". This means that:

- when measuring the distance to the target, 1 yard = 1 foot. When a guy makes a shot at the length of a football field, that is 300 yards.

- when measuring group size, rounds 1 foot apart = a 4" group.

2. What Newton meant was, "Every action with a .45 ACP produces a mushroom cloud."

3. If you don't know whether or not Les Baer picked his nose & ate it while hand fitting a 1911, you are unqualified to sell guns.

4. Glocks > 1911s.

5. 1911s > Glocks.

6. .22LR is a great defensive round, because you can just shoot a bad guy in the eye.

7. If you use a weapon mounted light, bad guys will shoot at it. They are unfazed by 150-200 lumen lights being pointed at eyes adapted to dim light. They will look straight at it, and shoot at you. Daylight shoots are a lot safer. Without a light to aim at, bad guys won't know where you are.

8. "6 degrees of separation" is a myth. I know this, because everyone I have ever met has a cousin who is part of SEAL Team 6. Naturally, those guys can't talk to anyone about what they do, unless that person is their cousin.

9. Everybody who has ever owned a Five Seven pistol has LE restricted AP rounds.

10. Single stack 9mms are better for women, because they are less powerful than full size 9mms, and have less recoil. For a woman, Kel Tec PF-9 > Beretta 92FS.

11. You can't conceal anything bigger than a Ruger LCP.

12. You don't need a gun safe, you can just hide guns from your kids. It's foolproof. I know this, because "Trust me".

13. Guns with external safeties are child proof. It's science. Duh.

14. The gubmint is buying up all of the .22LR.

15. All you need to be your tribe's "designated marksman" is an AR-10.

16. Everybody needs a carbine, a handgun, a .22 rifle, a 12ga shotgun, and a long range precision rifle for when SHTF. You also need at least 2,000 rounds for each weapon. You'll be taking all of it with you when you bug out.

17. I am not hardcore. I know this, because if anyone screws with many of my customers, said bad guy is going to get hit with 2 in the chest and 1 between the eyes. The shooter will then represent himself in court, tell the jury how it is, and run off with the dead bad guy's super model widow. The only time I have had to draw my firearm, I didn't shoot the bad guy.

18. It's not safe to carry with a round in the chamber. Israelis train their special forces units to carry on an empty chamber, and those guys are almost as high speed as that guy on Hawaii 5-0.

19. Police and military service persons are trained on every firearm, ever. All they do is shoot all day, every day... and write tickets for "stupid things" like DUI.

20. One time, a sniper ran out of bullets. He whipped out a rubber band, and shot a guy in the eye with it. The guy died.