Here is my input(based on approx 25 years around firearms, 04 years active duty: US Army, licensed in 2 states for CC)...
Id start with a simple, no frills DA/DA only 5/6 shot revolver for
both of you.
A DA only or DAO wheel gun like the Ruger SP101 in .357magnum, the LCR in .38spl or .357magnum, the S&W model 642(without the stupid lawyer lock
) or the J frame DA/SA 638 .38spl would be great for carry & for learning the basics of marksmanship, firearms safety, cleaning, tactics, etc.
note Smith and Wesson now has safety warnings posted about the M&P Shield pistols. Your better half may feel ready to pack a semi auto pistol, but Id crawl before you walk or run.
A Ruger LCR, SP101(DAO) or 642 snub can take after market night sights or laser aiming grips to guide you. Most attacks & use of force events take place at night. Shooting in low light or learning to deploy your weapon in darkness is important.
A simple .38spl can be upgraded from training rounds to the more potent +P loads. A .357magnum can take either .38spl or the powerful magnum rounds.
Be aware that such issues as muzzle flash, recoil, blast, etc will be parts of any defense related shooting. You or your spouse may need to fire weak hand(non firing hand) too if you are hurt or wounded.
Learn how to clean & service your new firearms. Check them often for damage & wear. Don't put a handgun in a drawer or case or purse then leave it there for 5 years. Don't laugh, it does happen.
Take training classes & read a few decent books. Know your areas use of force & gun laws. Don't go by someone's uncle's barber who knew a state trooper 5 years ago. Gun & carry laws
change often! Be aware of the laws & have a legal defense plan too.
Only use
factory rounds for defense or concealed carry. No cheap reloads or hand-loads. Some gun shop ranger or weekend Rambo may think they are better than Winchester, Speer/Gold Dot or Remington but they are now.
you are the one who must account for or explain your actions in a lethal force event.
Finally, don't buy cheap stuff. It will break and wear out quickly. Plus you'll look like a real sucker to other gun owners/armed professionals/CC license holders.
ClydeFrog
www.nra.org www.jgsales.com www.brownells.com www.gunsamerica.com www.ruger.com www.deltapress.com www.midwayusa.com www.gunzilla.us www.weaponshield.com www.massadayoobgroup.com www.galls.com www.policehq.com www.sgammo.com www.shopcorbon.com www.gunvideo.com www.paladin-press.com www.blackhawk.com www.usgalco.com www.safariland.com www.mitchrosen.com www.donhume.com www.cabelas.com www.handgunlaw.us www.gunlawguide.com