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If you are already a "shooter" than it is extremely selfish to expect her to get used to it.
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Spot on Hogdogs.......
OP - it is really hard to UNDO learned bad habits. Worse, she might decide not to bother with a shotgun at all - if you want a shooting companion, as well as someone who is not afraid to use that thing in the event of a "situation", then get her one of her own that fits HER, shorten the stock, or don't let her shoot it