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Originally Posted by tomrkba
I tell people to buy a Ruger GP100 with 4" barrel if they want a revolver
Under no circumstances should the OP buy an S&W J-Frame or equivalent small revolver. Experts have difficulty shooting them; don't expect a positive learning experience with one.
Budget at least $1,000 to the project because the gun is only part of the rig. The OP will need at least one concealment holster (lots of forward cant), a gun belt (just buy a Comp-Tac kydex reinforced belt), magazines or speed loaders, at least two ammo holders, cleaning gear, safety gear, practice ammunition, at least 200 rounds of defensive ammo, and tuition for class.
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You really feel that a 4" GP100 is a good CCW choice? You also feel that experts have difficulty shooting a J Frame? Do you really feel this person needs to spend $1,000 to protect him/herself?
A 4" GP100 is a huge, heavy revolver that is very difficult, and for some people, impossible, to conceal. It also wont be long before most people would give up on a revolver the size of the GP100, for concealment.
The Smith and Wesson J Frame is an excellent, accurate revolver, that many people find very easy to shoot. A J Frame with 38 special ammo is very effective, controllable, and needs only a pocket holster, and no where near all the things you list, to be very capable of protecting a person.
A small J Frame sized revolver, or small autoloading pistol will serve very well, and doesn't need a $1,000 budget to be effective, and reliable.