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Youngun, fit and comfort plus recoil tolerance are very much an individual thing. The ex is about the same size and a 12 was too much. Never went to a 20 as she was recoil sensitive. After much searching we went to a .357 lever gun.
Get her to a range and see if a 20 is tolerable. The Youth guns (Remington and Winchester) do fit the ladies nicely.
If your home situation (backstop and probable engagement area) allow, think about an M1 Carbine or other light rifle.
Giz
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