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are not designed for their expansion capacity.
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Amen. Most of the HP .223 you come across are "match" and not designed for expansion like HP pistol bullets - they are HP for accuracy purposes.
I think by going with a rifle for SD you're already way ahead of the game. I really doubt using an HP is going to really mitigate over-penetration if you're shooting a BG in a justifiable SD situation. And you said that's not really a concern for you anyway (me neither).
I also run an AR-15 for SD and I just use whatever ammo I have confidence my weapon will reliably cycle. I don't think after being shot several times at close range by my AR-15 that the bad guy will go, "AH-HA! You should have used hollow points! Now I'm gonna get you!! Mua-hahaha!!" He's going to be more concerned about staring down the barrel of a scary-looking tactical carbine while bleeding profusely from the chest and/or face.
Now I wouldn't carry a handgun with FMJ, but it's more of a consideration with pistols because by nature of the firing platform any pistol caliber is underpowered. With my rifle I'm not so concerned, but that's just me.