rmocarsky ~
Do
not even consider a "stun gun." Those are basically worthless, of no value whatsoever. I've been shocked by one many times, voluntarily. It barely hurts and certainly does not incapacitate.
If you are interested in a Taser, get the brand name for sure. A Taser
will incapacitate an attacker -- IF -- the hit is solid and everything goes well. It incapacitates the subject not by pain, but by putting a lot of "noise" down the nerves, so that signals cannot get from the brain to the muscles. And it really truly works, under the right circumstances. (And no, you're very unlikely to shock yourself with a Taser. Just doesn't work that way; you can be hands-on with the guy and still not receive a shock yourself.)
However: it isn't a panacea. For a quick overview of the realistic limitations of Tasers for self-defense, see this thread:
http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/...d.php?t=364467
One more thing. You are so very adamant about non-lethal force, and obviously you've got a specific and probably heartbreaking situation to deal with. However...
http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/...6&postcount=23
pax