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Rent the range
Definitely try to get to a range and rent out as many different models as possible. That is a MUST before you buy, unless you plan on buying again soon. If you fail to do this you will find out what you like later and it likely won't be what you bought.
There's nothing wrong with .40 but it is snappy and is a good bit more expensive than 9mm and doesn't really offer too much more power. I'd stick with 9mm.
Our opinions don't matter nearly as much as YOUR HANDS do. Remember that. All of the brands you listed would serve you very well. I've owned them all and would put my endorsement on any of them.
Pete
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