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I'm trying to find out the best non-lethal ammo for shotgun
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Non-lethal for who? The best non-lethal ammo for a 12 gauge is 00 Buck. A high percentage of people who shoot 00 Buck live through the encounter.
If you employ a shotgun (or any gun for that matter), as a civilian, you have employed lethal force, no matter what it is loaded with. Load it with something most likely to stop the threat. 00 low recoil Buck is my choice.
If you are squeamish about taking a life, then rethink the entire idea of having a shotgun. You might want an escape route and sneakers instead, and there is no shame in that. Give Dave Grossman's book "On Killing" a read, and work to develop a defensive mindset. That will serve you better than running shoes OR a shotgun. All the guns in the world will not save you from a person intent on killing you if you have this non-lethal mindset.