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Recoil is primarily a function of the weight of the bullet, the velocity of the load ...and the weight of the gun.
So go with the heaviest gun you like ( like a Sig 226 - especially in an all stainless version ) vs any poly frame gun ...will be a way better option ( with any given cartridge).
In a heavier gun - the recoil of a .40S&W 180gr bullet...isn't mild / but it isn't uncontrollable either...but it depends on what fits your hands the best.
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