I have never ever heard anyone say "This recoil pad is too soft and reduces recoil too much." I think the shooting shirt/vest isn't the best idea as it is sort of a pain. A good pad on the rifle is always there.
I use the slip-on Kick-Eez pads on a few hunting shotguns. I would not use them on a rifle as they do not fit that tightly and are not stable. There are glue on options and more expensive ones that tie on and such.
A
"BAR" won't have much recoil as they are hefty and semi-auto. You said you weren't going to skimp...