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In general, I've always seen that someone should go with the highest caliber gun you can easily manage, which for me would be a .45.
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I once thought the same way, but I have learned better...
You should go with the caliber/gun that you will be willing to actually carry.
If you can manage a .45 ACP pistol, but hate the size and weight of a .45 ACP pistol, then the .45 ACP pistol is not for you.
In other words...
The 380 LCP in your pocket is better than the .45 1911 in your glove compartment.
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However, one thought I had as well is that I live within 150 feet of numerous houses, and if the worst case scenario happened and there was a firefight with a BG, a 45 would have the highest chance (compared with a .22) of going through a wall or window and into a neighbors house if I missed,...
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Not necessarily.
The 9mm Para in FMJ actually penetrates more than the .45 ACP in FMJ with the same same barrel length pistols.