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There is a lot of great advice in the previous posts. But to give you a female perspective, I have the same problem with the slide lock on most guns honestly. I lack the strength and my hands are too small to operate most slide locks. I have had a lot of luck with my LC9 and my m&p. I've shot quite a few different semi autos until I found the "one" for me. My fiance carries a Glock 19 and it is really nice, but I found I was more accurate and just felt more comfortable with my m&p. My fiance hates my LC9 because it is so small but it works great for me because it is so much smaller. Although it does have substantially more recoil than the m&p because it is soooo small, its nothing I can't handle or put multiple magazines through it at a day at the range. I am by no means an expert on firearms, but I am just letting you know what has worked well for me. Good luck on finding her a great gun for her.
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