I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I can identify with what you are going through, as my older brother John died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound 16 years ago.
I did go through a period where it was very difficult to pick up any of my guns afterwards, but it passed after a couple years. I came to the realization that he would have used some other method if the rifle hadn't been there; the gun was only a tool.
That Marlin 336 now lives in my safe, probably never to be fired again. It was one that my brother inherited from our Dad, so I will keep it in memory of both of them.
I would suggest that if you need a break from the guns, take it. You'll know when it is time to take them up again.
My prayers are with you.
Joel
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