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I'm not going to stop to talk to the guy or ask him anything. If the guy with the gun isn't instantly recognizable as a cop then my evaluation in a life or death situation will be to act as if he is not and there won't be any time for anyone to ID themself.
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+1 This is all you can do.
The cop should be the one calling 911 and getting backup before even approaching, BEFORE the situation escalates into a gunfight. Once people are pointing guns at each other its a bit late to talk it out, I am not going to take the chance the other guy might decide to pull the trigger. Both people could be LEOs, it makes no difference. No one is their right mind would drop their own weapon while someone they have not positively IDed is pointing a gun at them. Standing there and waiting to get shot or trying to demand ID ensures they are most likely going to be the one with no side of the story to tell. If this was just a man with a gun, no sane person would do anything other than call 911, but it's a family member so there is little choice. Once involved, there is only one option when someone unidentified points a gun at you. If you have made the decision not to fire, then don't CCW.