I agree that she should make the choice... with some caveats. Wives of friends who've come to our farm to try out my guns, have often hung up on the weight of the gun....I explain that weight helps dampen recoil, and then the discussion goes to, "I don't want it to kick at all". I've found that it takes an afternoon of .22's, then light loaded .38's to get past some of the built-in prejudice.
Simplicity is a selling point. I've come to the conclusion that for most men or women a revolver is the best choice. For those that don't want to practice whatsoever, it's the only choice. Trigger pull in the DA mode must be light enough to allow weak hands to manipulate.
I've seen a few of my friends talk their wives into an auto, simply because that's what their carrying or like. With slides to rack, magazines to load...insert, safeties on and off...they just don't get the ladies comfortable with the gun. A revolver that fits their hands is usually what they've picked after a bit of time trying the others.
A revolver, in .38 special, lightly loaded initially...but let her pick it...that'll fill the bill.
HTH's Rod (PS: my wife started with a .22 revolver, but now shoots a Glock 23 and a S&W M637...but it took some time to get her to this point...now she's quite proud of her prowess).
Our Flag is unfurled by the dying breath of our patriots in uniform. Cherish and honor it, defend what it stands for or get the hell out. Our Freedoms are not free, they've been paid for many times over.
USAF Forward Air Controller, 5th Spl Forces,
An Loc, lll Corps, RVN, 69-70, Vietnam Vet '69-'73